What Should We Expect from New U.S. Sanctions on Russia?
Exit day. USA on a new holiday will lift sanctions against Russia
The Russian national football team is the weakest team in the 2018 World Cup. At least that's what the rating says. Therefore, she cannot have weak opponents and leaving the group will be a great achievement. Why is there - a holiday, which has not been in Russia for a long time. And if Russia can do this, then ...
Fertility will skyrocket
We all know what things can be done in a fit of insane joy. The fans will become as loving as possible, which will inevitably lead to a surge in the birth rate. We'll find out about this a little later, but things will happen exactly on the night the Russian national team leaves the group at the World Championships. Well, and a few more days in a row, before the 1/8 finals match with Spain. And how many Stanislavs will be born in nine months!
America will lift the sanctions
The US will understand once and for all that sanctions will not help the cause. If the Russian national football team was able to get out of the group, then the Russians cannot be taken or scared by anything. Donald Trump will invite the entire team to the White House, but she will refuse. Because no serious teams are categorically going there now.
The RFPL will cancel the limit
The elixir of adequacy will fly to the RFPL office and will cancel the limit on foreign players immediately after the final whistle of the Russia - Uruguay match. Alexander Golovin will go to Juventus, Fyodor Smolov - to Everton, Roman Zobnin - to Borussia, Daler Kuzyaev - to Inter, and Vladimir Gabulov - to Bruges. Oh yes, he was there and so it was.
Russia's GDP will double
The success of the Russian national team will force Russians to get off their sofas and go to raise the Russian economy. To celebrate, factories will double their productivity, small and medium-sized businesses will receive conditions for development, and on retirement it will be possible to buy lobsters and go on vacation to the Seychelles every two weeks.
Justin Bieber will dedicate a song to Cherchesov
The famous Canadian pop singer will not be left out of the celebration either. Justin will write a platinum hit about the head coach of the Russian national team Stanislav Cherchesov. One of the verses will be performed by Decl. The song will break into the American charts, and Cherchesov will be invited to the Los Angeles Galaxy. Hollywood finally learns about Russia.
Alcoholics will exchange tincture for a horizontal bar
Drug addicts, alcoholics and parasites will see that only sports can lead to success. Alcoholic Gennady, seeing the victorious goal of Dziuba, will gain a new faith in life, throw a delicious grape liqueur into the trash can and wring himself out of the floor twice. For each goal of Russia in the group stage.
The day of leaving the group will forever be a day off
We will increase GDP, we will develop a healthy lifestyle, but we also need to rest sometime! Not all the same to work hard as damned. Therefore, by presidential decree, the Day of leaving the group will henceforth be a public holiday. Russia will always rest on June 25.
Premier League clubs will become self-sufficient
In the best league in the world (FNL), everything is in order, but in the Premier League the issue of self-sufficiency was acute. After the World Cup, everything will change. All stadiums will be packed to capacity, clubs willreceive crazy profits from ticket sales, Yuri Gazinsky's T-shirts will fly in a circulation of two million. UEFA will cite Ufa as a perfect example of financial fair play.
DiCaprio will ask for Russian citizenship
The famous Hollywood actor will get more emotions from leaving the Russian team from the group than from receiving the long-awaited Oscar ... Leonardo will ask for Russian citizenship, and while his application will be considered, he will shoot a film about Russian football. The release of the film will coincide with the receipt of a Russian passport.
Buffon will come to us
Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon will start watching the World Cup on TV, but after seeing the first two matches of the Russian national team, he will take a ticket to Samara for the match with Uruguay, where after the game he will meet with representatives of the Volgograd Rotor. There will be so many emotions that the Italian will throw the contract with PSG out of the window and go to raise the Rotor in the Premier League. Of course, he will succeed in this.
Skripal admits that since childhood he has been for Tambov
Former GRU colonel Sergei Skripal, discharged from the hospital in Salisbury, will give a great interview on Russian TV, where he confesses his love for the football club Tambov and reveals the whole truth in the story of his poisoning. Stroking a Russian passport in his hand.