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Championship for Dummies: the 2018 FIFA Fan Dictionary

We simply and with humor understand complex football terms together with the resident of the Comedy Club on TNT Andrey Averin .

So the long-awaited World Cup has begun. I don’t know a person who would not like football. The game that conquered the whole world. All my friends and acquaintances love this sport. And everyone, without exception, knows how to play it correctly, they have super skill more abruptly than Messi and are ready to replace any player on the field at any moment at the first call and lead their team to victory. But does everyone know well the terms and rules of this game?

If not, then this small and, of course, humorous dictionary of some football terms from Comedy Club will help you figure it out! p>

Own goal

The ball scored by a player into his own goal. Brazilian defender Pinheiro is called the record holder for goals scored into his own net. In just one of the seasons, he scored 10 own goals. Then he was transferred to the attack, but in the first fight he again scored into his own goal. I hope Pinheiro will NOT play in the Russian national team at the 2018 World Cup.

Bombardier

A very productive player who scores a lot. And in one match. A woman's dream. It is capable of several times in 90 minutes.

Video playback

For the first time in a competition of this level, video playback will be tested. A specially trained person with the help of modern technologies will determine whether the ball flew into the goal or not. Previously, many did not like this and video views were prohibited. Such a forbidden video!

Goalkeeper

A footballer who stands on the defense of the goal and does not allow anyone to score. It's a shame they forgot to tell a couple of goalkeepers about this.

Dribbling

Sounds like a fat pumping procedure, but no. This is a virtuoso dribbling of the opponent's players. It can be compared to moving from bar to table across the entire dance floor of a nightclub, when you hold 12 beers.

Draw

This is not a competition for thoroughbred stallions, no. Everything is clear here. It is the process that determines who to play with whom. Our teams are usually lucky with the draw. Unlucky later, on the field.

Disappearing spray

An aerosol agent, with which the referee marks the point for breaking the free kick and the place for building the wall. Very similar to shaving foam. By the way, have you noticed that the referees on the pitch are usually clean-shaven?

Red card

The same as the girl's phrase I'm sorry, you're very good, but we can no longer be together. The player who received the red card must leave the field before the end of the match.

Cristina

This is the name of the Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo by his haters. It is said that he often pretends and plays like a girl. And he doesn't play like a girl. He has long played as a wise and experienced woman.

Mundial

Translated from andSpanskoy means the FIFA World Cup. Although somewhere in a residential area of ​​Chelyabinsk for the word mundial can be obtained by mandanda. By the way, Mandanda is a French footballer.

Offside

A difficult term, but if you learn it, you can boast that you understand the rules. This is a position in which the player of the attacking team receives the ball from behind all opponents, that is, in fact, one on one with the goalkeeper. Didn't it become clearer? This is normal: even referees do not always understand what's what.

Time

The period (in football - 2 times 45 minutes each), during which men swear loudly, tell everyone around how to play football, have time to drink three pints of beer and discuss the latest news. Popular phrases: What was it, I would score, Where do you pass the ball, bow-legged, Who plays like that, nowadays ... If a man doesn't say them, then he is playing football at that moment.

Coach

A person who does two things: teaches players how to beat everyone, and shouts loudly at them (sometimes obscenely), standing on the edge of the field. And, it's also a film by Danila Kozlovsky. Moreover, the monthly salary of some coaches exceeds the entire budget of this picture.

Foul

Violation of the rules. Usually accompanied by a whistle from the referee and shouts from the fans to open his eyes and put this whistle in ... Well, you get the idea.

Barbell

This is not the kind of equipment that weightlifters with their eyes bulging from overexertion usually try to lift. This is the side goal post. Well, or a woman with very small breasts. Some goalkeepers kiss the barbells before the match. Some barbells sleep with the goalkeepers after the match. This does not affect football in any way. It doesn't affect anything at all.

The Best Soccer (football) Terms

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